Goodbye Rose-Tint

Oh, hello. It’s me. Kitty. Remember me? No. Well that’s my fault for not posting more often.

I would like to say sorry for the lack of blogging, life has gotten complicated. I’m not one for portraying life as all doom and gloom, with a delicious, caramel crap encrusted on top. I, for one, prefer to keep a rose-tinted view on life. Recently it seems that someone has found the secret location that contains my rose-tinted glasses and proceeded to scrub off the tint with a brillo pad of menacing realism. I’ve tried reapplying a layer of rose back on, but the crafty sod has foiled me by placing a layer of anti-vandalism paint. Thus making the rose-tint slid defeatedly back into the tin crying ‘I’m melting, I’m melting, oh what a cruel world’.

In this now cold and quite frankly, or franly for you feminists, irritable world I find one of my few sources of happiness is my online addiction. World of Warcraft (known here on as WoW). This is another reason for the lack of blogging. WoW provides me with instant happiness through recognition of my hard work I put into it. It doesn’t try to sweet talk me into thinking I might get more work hours, doesn’t try to kick me out of a house and doesn’t think I’m too over/under qualified to do a job. In fact the only downside to WoW is it steals my life and takes a bit of money away from me once every four months.

I feel like everyone else is getting the success or recognition they deserve. Getting that break in life. Everyone but me. I understand that these people how worked very hard to get what they have, but so have I. I always try to give as much as possible when I do stuff. Anyone I’ve worked with can testify to that. I feel that I’m not good enough anymore, that nothing I offer or do is going to be up to the standard set. It’s painful and it hurts my soul.

Could things get worse? Possible, but doesn’t it have to get worse before things get better. Currently I’m working towards a certain achievement in WoW that requires a lot of time and effort. To begin with everything was exciting as I knew what I wanted to achieve and had a plan. Next it started to drag and got to a point where I couldn’t find any of the rare items I needed to obtain my achievement. It seemed pointless and a waste of time when I could have been working towards the end game content. My boyfriend then pointed out to me that sooner or later it’s going to happen as the law of probability deems it so. Strangely enough he was right. I’m now only one item short of getting the achievement I set at to do and it’s exciting again as the goal is in sight. The same thing applies here. It’s going to happen sooner or later. It has to. Probability will make it happen. I just need to remind myself what it is I want, keep myself excited about getting it and continue trying to achieve it each day.

I may never be able to go back to a childlike innocence of the world, but as long as I remember what I’m aiming for I’m pretty sure it will come my way. God (or Gods depending on your Deity view) knows it’s almost my time. See I told you I don’t just do all doom and gloom.

I’ll leave you with this interesting tid-bit. Most toilets flush to the tone of E flat. Just delightful, isn’t it.

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8 thoughts on “Goodbye Rose-Tint

  1. It seems you and I are not the only ones going through this somewhat lost and depressed stage in our lives. To have something for now to give a person a sense of achievement is a great gift, until you manage to get on the track you hope reach one day. Putting ourselves in a role where we are heroes and capable of achieving any possible and impossible greatness (created by the wonderful role playing gods out there) is tempting (often wins out), but doesn’t that mean we’re just putting ourselves on hold? I have thought about it, what if all the distractions I use to make me feel better, may actually be my downfall?

    But we have to keep optimistic and although we see things in bright colours we’re allowed our dark days.

    • As always D, your comments enlighten me further. Yes it could be possible that these ways of escaping merely place my life on hold. I would have to agree with that and I will, one day, have to deal with it. I feel at this point though I need a way to hold my life up so I can keep optimistic. This too could also become a downfall as when that time comes to deal with it I may not be able to recognise it and descend into a darker place. Thankfully though I think you and others may notice that descent and, assuming I’m not being too expectent, would try to stop that as would be the case if the pretty, shiny shoe was on the other foot.
      Missing you loads D. Stay safe and get your blog on girl 😀

      • Miss you loads too!

        I like the idea that either of us decides to give in, that the other will provide a slap to wake us up! 😀

        Personally, I am choosing to embrace the fantasy for a while. I think I’m a couple of steps behind you (if that makes sense)

        *raise imaginary pitcher of sake* here’s to finding our personal mission in life! 😉

  2. I never thought of you as someone of “childlike innocence”, Kitters. Sorry about that. Still… that having been said; I think a little time in the company of Optimist Prime and his trusty sidekick, Cyberkinetic Morrisey (An odd sidekick for an optimist, I grant you, but it was JB who labelled him that, not me), is just what the doctor ordered.

    I’ll be back from Sweden by Wednesday of next week, at which time I would like to finally hear about this awesome idea you have. I’m intrigued to say the least.

    One last point… I think that if there’s anyone I know who deserves recognition, it’s you. So here is a little of it, for whatever it’s worth: Of the Sleepless Knight crew, you are, by a large margin, the most pleasure to work with. You take direction very well indeed and very rarely need a second take (with only one notable exception – and that was hilarious so I say we don’t count it), you have great ideas, you actually know what you’re talking about (which makes a nice change from those who, for example, continually talk over takes, or don’t understand why I do things in a certain order), you ALWAYS show up when you say you’re going to (even though I don’t pay you, and so far haven’t even fed you when you’ve turned up for a shoot), and you can actually ACT!

    I’m certain that your own channel will be completely awesome, and so far, the blog is pretty damn entertaining too.

    So… there! Keep it up lassie; you have at least one loyal reader, and it took me a year to get 17, so don’t lose heart.

    • As I always like to say Jimbot, I try to be more Optimist Prime than a Nega-tron 😀 I appreciate your loyalty and I know that you appreciate me. I’ll tell you more when I see you next. Have fun aboard and try to come back in one piece 🙂

  3. OK, first off… what class/spec do you play, horde or ally, and what’s the achiev you are trying to/did get?

    Secondly, I know how you feel. I occasionally get thrown into the depths of lethargic despair, where nothing seems to be working out, and I’m getting nowhere. People will say “oh, your time will come”, but what if you’re really impatient and want your time to come NOW?

    But we will catch a break, and get recognised for everything, and be totally awesome. You’re already awesome, you just need someone intelligent and rich to notice that, because sponsors are very useful 😀

    • Priest- duel holy/shadow 85 currently horde going across to ally as my friends guild is on there and I’ll get my raid content out of it than what I’m currently doing. The ‘Higher Learning’ and ‘Loremaster’. One more book and I’ll get my little voidwalker pet XD you play yourself Amki?

      We will, we have to keep going forward with that hope in the fore front of our minds 🙂 I will try to blog more and I’m sure Jimbot will annoy me till I get it done. Also try to make sure he comes back in one piece lol 😀

      • I used to play ally but then I went over to horde. I don’t play any more but at times my hands start twitching and I have to run from the closest computer. It’s difficult to stay away, especially when you are either a) bored, b) stressed out about life, c) procrastinating or d) all of the above, which is more or less my situation at this very hour.
        I was mostly on my resto-shammy/enhance, but I also rocked the DK tanking, I used to play frost before they changed the whole speccing of things. Did you get the achiev?

        I hope I’ll get to meet you when I come over there to berserk a whole bunch and other such vikingy-things, just a few days from now!

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